Last year I was thrilled to discover the word "MUDITA". It is a Pali word meaning the opposite of jealousy, i.e. the feeling of joy on seeing someone else's joy. There is no doubt that it is a strongly positive feeling with the potential of removing negativity and sorrow. Why would you ever feel sad if you can absorb the joy of others. Practicing this is not easy though.
Today morning I saw the post from a close friend stating that one of his friends made a box of delicious coconut laddoos (sweetmeat) as an un-birthday present! Of course my friend was thrilled. I felt a big tinge of jealousy. Then I tried to use Mudita, i.e. to feel my friend's joy. I could not. I tried to think why.....In my life no one has ever made an un-birthday present to me. No friend of mine had ever made a box of handmade laddoos for no reason. I do NOT know how it feels like when one gets a gift like that.
That made it clear why it is more difficult for us to feel Mudita than to feel empathy and compassion. We do not have much experience in being happy and joyful. In developing world we are too pressed for time and too pressed by customs to feel a wider range of joy. In developed world we are too pressed by selfish individualism to feel a wider range of joy.
People want to get rid of sorrow. But they never try to be free and enjoy joy like an epicurean. Even the life of Sakyamuni Gautama, the original Buddha, teaches this. Till the age of 29 He was immersed in pleasant life and 'so called worldly' joys. One can feel empathy only when one has experienced a range of pain himself. One can feel Mudita only when one has experienced a variety of happiness. And unless one is able to feel both empathy/compassion and Mudita there is no real freedom from pain!
Today morning I saw the post from a close friend stating that one of his friends made a box of delicious coconut laddoos (sweetmeat) as an un-birthday present! Of course my friend was thrilled. I felt a big tinge of jealousy. Then I tried to use Mudita, i.e. to feel my friend's joy. I could not. I tried to think why.....In my life no one has ever made an un-birthday present to me. No friend of mine had ever made a box of handmade laddoos for no reason. I do NOT know how it feels like when one gets a gift like that.
That made it clear why it is more difficult for us to feel Mudita than to feel empathy and compassion. We do not have much experience in being happy and joyful. In developing world we are too pressed for time and too pressed by customs to feel a wider range of joy. In developed world we are too pressed by selfish individualism to feel a wider range of joy.
People want to get rid of sorrow. But they never try to be free and enjoy joy like an epicurean. Even the life of Sakyamuni Gautama, the original Buddha, teaches this. Till the age of 29 He was immersed in pleasant life and 'so called worldly' joys. One can feel empathy only when one has experienced a range of pain himself. One can feel Mudita only when one has experienced a variety of happiness. And unless one is able to feel both empathy/compassion and Mudita there is no real freedom from pain!
