Disclaimer: First of all sorry that I have been OFF for such a long period. I mostly write my blogs when there is some sort of pain in the heart or mind. When I am silent, you may presume that I am content :)
Few days back I was talking a very close friend of mine, who mostly is pretty cool even in adverse situations. He suddenly told me about his life's philosophy! This is what I heard! (PS: If you look at the Buddhist scriptures, they have been narrated by Ananda the arch-disciple of Buddha. Ananda never says "Buddha told" this or that! He always says "I heard the Buddha telling...". A simple difference in words but it actually means a lot. The day people realize this, much of the fundamentalism will disappear! E.g. while reading the Holy Quoran, if I always keep in mind that this is what I am reading or understanding from the holy book, then there is no problem! Problem comes when people say "this is what God has decreed"! )
The greatest art of communication lies in controlling the other person and not getting controlled. Try to take him/her in surprise. Act in just the opposite way as what he/she would have expected to react. Lets say someone gives you a really bad abuse, he/she subconsciously is prepared to see you all angry and blasting or tearful. If you don't act like that, you are hurting him/her in a very bad way! He/she is instantly defeated! So the secret lies in seeing through what the other person is expecting and of course if you want him/her to feel defeated! If he/she is your beloved one, there is no point making him/her feel bad. If he/she is abusing you, you react and shout and may be shade tear. But if you are trying to confront the other person, then be ready with the shock therapy! React just the opposite way of the way he/she would expect you to react!!
PPS: This reminds me of the sayings of Krishnamurthy as told to me by my father: "Most people go on reacting all their life and they never actually perform any action! Try to look at the world without any precondition and then you will stop reacting and start acting! Thats the joy of meditation!!".
