Education and degrees

Recently I was appalled by the fact that, at least in India, for a fresher it is almost impossible to get a job if not through campus placement! So much so that one of my friends decided to join an MBA program just to have access to the placement drama!! Which means that he is confident of doing well in a job; but needs a 'degree' and placement.

Do the conventional education and degree mean much? My views will be biased in that I am myself a product and benefactor of the system, and will be non-academic from the fact that I got no 'degree' in education or sociology!

If we look back, formal education was historically affordable and imparted only to the elite few. Most (if not all) old fathers of science and humanities are either from royalty or from clergy background. So, I guess, they tried their best to make education the business of the elite. And now we have something which breeds elitism! A mason puts more mental and physical effort than me, but gets paid less. This is morally wrong.

Besides the moral dimension, the other dimension to this whole debate is practicality. There was a time when the way (most) people got trained was through apprentice programs! This got different flavours in the orient and in the occident. But in today's world, without a piece of paper, you are not recognised. And that piece of papers needs years and years of effort and loads of money. It just does not make much sense to me.

What is the solution? Well I don't know and thats why this column is coined "Confusion"!!

Pancha-klesha (five miseries)

(The real meaning of yoga is the way to get united with the real knowledge. And Patanjali (2nd century BC) is well regarded as the father of yoga. His work the Yoga-sutras is a list of aphorisms, each worth hundred hours of meditation. In the current post I will explain one of the sutras from Yoga-sutra, as explained to me by my father.)

Very lucidly this sutra says that "agyana, asmita, raga, dwesha, abhinibesha: pancha-kleshah". The five miseries of life are lack of proper knowledge, I-ness, desire to get good things and not to get bad things, fear of death or time! It all starts with the lack of proper knowledge (agyana). Everyone, everything and every event is interlinked and interwoven in an amazing seamless manner. Open your eyes and try to find a single event without any cause. There aint any. Every event every thing and everyone affects every other event, thing and person. In such a creation, no one has any independent existence. Independence and choice are but illusions. Because many of us don't care to look out and think, we think  we are different and separate. We develop ego and I-ness (asmita). Ego is nothing but the accumulation of some past experiences, which in turn define our character and personality. When in an undivided wholeness we assume a separate entity, then we make an evasive boundary. This makes two type of choices. We either like (raga) a thing/person/event or dislike (dwesha) it. This in turn will bring us to the point where we start remaining scared of time! Why? Because we are scared that the desirable thing that we have now will be snatched by the flow of time or the thing we desire to happen or come in future will not happen. This brings us to the last misery, fear of time or death (abhinibesha).

So as we can see, all the miseries start step by step from a single thing, i.e. the lack of right knowledge (agyana). But how can someone who is within the miseries of asmita, raga, dwesha, abhinibesha obtain knowledge? Then this becomes like a vicious circle! The only way to break it is meditation!

An old story

I have heard this story long ago. There was a woodcutter who would go to the jungle everyday to cut wood. One day he was cutting a branch of a tree which leaned into a river and his axe fell into the river. Our poor woodcutter was devastated. He sat beside the river and cried. Then the river-Goddess could no longer see his plight, She came out and asked what has happened. On knowing the reason She went in and brought a big gold axe and asked him to take it. Our woodcutter denied that that was not his axe. Then She went in again and brought a silver axe which was also denied by our woodcutter. Finally she gave him back him old iron axe and he was happy. This pleased the Goddess and she blessed him profusely.

Many times in life because of circumstances we are separated from our loved ones and we  miss our loved ones. And people console that no worries, move ahead, you will get many better ones! I would say, thank you very much for your kind support but I need my old iron axe back. Because that was MINE and I could cut the woods with it. I want an axe to make a living and life, not some gold and silver!

Self reliance

It's a well known fact that if we start depending on others for our comfort zone, then our comfort becomes short-lived. E.g. if I derive my joy from staying near a loved-one, then when that loved-one goes far or does not react in a desired way, I get sad. I lose my peace. So what we are invariably advised is "try to be self reliant", try not to depend heavily on other (persons or stuffs) too much.

I think I don't agree with the above old wisdom. If we do not depend on anyone, then what is the benefit of a human life? If we do not feel pain then how can we feel pleasure? If we are scared of being too much dependent on someone then we will never be able to enjoy life to its fullest extent.

The above logic reminds me of a line from Narada's Bhakti Sutra (Formulas of devotion). For the uninitiated, Sutras in Indian philosophy are sets of very concise adages (sutra = formula)! This particular sutra  reads as "biraha-shakta". (As you can see it's just two words). It means "attracted to separation". One wise man explains this as the fact that the lover is attracted even to separation from the beloved one. Why? Because even if it's separation, separation from whom? From the beloved one! How can the lover not fall in love with anything related to the beloved one?

Philosophies aside, I think I will advise to continue being dependent! Separation makes you weak, but that also makes you feel the joy of reunion. Dependence makes your joy capricious; but then what is permanent in this nature? Embrace life to the full extent. Leave all inhibitions when you are in love. You have nothing to lose!

Swaraj vs. Suraj

Of late I am getting more and more convinced that like "organised" religion, nationalism is also one more opium for the masses. People just want to feel good for the fact that they belong to something bigger than a five to six feet tall body frame. And thats why they start believing in things like nation, country, state etc. And this sort of feeling is well moulded into making systems like democracy and notions like "swaraj" (self-governance). If I am being ruled by someone of my own type (and type can be anything starting from colour to caste) then I feel good! And if that someone can get a fake support like what we call "mandate", then the system becomes holy.

The hoipoloi really do not care about what is the colour of the skin of the president or what his religious beliefs are. We care about a good quality peaceful life, what we call as Suraaj or good governance. I have heard that in Saudi Arab, the young princes are trained as per the portfolio that they will take care of in their future life. They become trained to do a certain thing better. And given that he is not a tyrant (and believe me you can get tyrants of demonical magnitude in democracy as well), he can give a much better governance than democracy. Just because we do not know of a better system than democracy, does not make it the best. Just because some nations do well under democracy does not mean that its a panacea for all. I do not have an alternative. But I just can not stand the fake Swaraaj (self governance).

And today is India's umpteenth independence day. A day which should actually be observed as a black day, because this was the day when thousands of people were suddenly told that they are foreigners and need to leave the land; this was the day when neighbours killed, looted, raped neighbours. This was the day which showed the real demon in man. And what have we achieved yet? The inherently unapt system of democracy caused in highly concentrated growth. And the result is quite clear from our ex-home minister (Mr. Chidambaram)'s statement that currently around 30% of the nation's land is under some sort of parallel governance, like Naxals. It is high time, we should stop following the developed nations and seriously look for alternatives. Time to say "Thank you" to Swaraj and think of real "Suraaj".

Education

I have been in the 'business' of education for past six year now. I guess I have earned a bit of right to comment on education! The big question hovering over all of us today is "are we prepared to educate the future"? Contrary to popular belief "What do we teach" is a much bigger thing to decide than "How do we teach". Hamming roughly proved in one of his futuristic books (http://www.amazon.com/Art-Doing-Science-Engineering-Learning/dp/9056995006) that the amount of knowledge almost doubles every one to one-and-half years! Its a bewildering fact. So the first question is how do we keep ourselves abreast of all this huge amount of knowledge? And the second (and more difficult) question is how to make sure that you teach the thing that the student will really need? And there are many sub-queries like how to make sure that the student is not drifting aside from what you teach by the availability of limitless facts and knowledge in the cyber-space. This makes the whole vintage University  education system inefficient and, if I may dare say, useless! I strongly believe that what the Universities are selling for the exuberant amount of money they take is not knowledge or education; its a brand name. And if you think my job as an educator is difficult, then think of the poor man who is assigned to choose the employees for a firm! How does (s)he make sure that s(he) is not fooled by the name of the degree? How does s(he) keeps abreast of the knowledge so as to examine the candidates? And more importantly, what would s(he) examine the candidates on? Surely s(he) can not expect them to be aware of the narrow domain in which the company is working! Hence, a quick on the job training is a must for the new employees. This makes the university education even more redundant!

I, sincerely, do not know the answer. But I think the way to go is to scrap the high sounding degrees in applied stuffs, like business administration or engineering. They are impossible degrees in the current world. Anyone who claims s(he) can teach engineering or management is a lier and I can say it to anyone's face! My firm belief is that the time has come to go back to the basic degree system of pure science and arts with at least one years of generic training on mental and physical wellbeing. 

Lokpal vs. Shanti Sena

Was reading a book by Acharya Binova. In one of the articles in that he was describing about the novel idea that Gandhijee had called Shanti Sena (Peace Army)! There were many things which struck me while reading that article.

First of all, Gandhijee proposed of this thing as a replacement of state army and paramilitary forces. While fighting for independence, Congress promised people that the expenditure on defence forces would be reduced drastically after independence. Secondly, Gandhijee has always dreamed of a society with minimal intervention and control by the state. So he proposed this scheme of Peace Army, where the soldiers will be followers of peace and will be ready to do anything (peacefully) on the orders of the commander. And if they have to die following that order, they wont die with any remorse; rather they will die with kind compassion in their hearts!

Binova rightly termed this idea as a seed, whose time has not come. As a step towards it, he discussed let us first try to replace police force by Shanti Sena. And he went on to describe that Shanti Sena will be a Seva Sena on peaceful days, whose duty will be to serve the society. And if there is any unrest or trouble, they will go with love and compassion to control it. And to reduce state control, he even proposed that the cost of the "army" will be borne by donations from the community.

Reading it I strongly felt that this is fully realisable. Then I thought, why a veteral Gandhian like Anna Hazare is demanding for a state machinery of Lokpals? Can not we create a nonviolent morale police force? Leave alone a peace army, we seem to be unable to think of a morale army! If we can not make people stop corruption by love and compassion, then first of all how can we even think of controlling violence with love-n-compassion; and secondly there is something greatly wrong in our own national character.

Lastly, if ever it was the time for the ideas of Gandhi to come from seed to the form of a tree, now is the time; and we are the generation to make it happen!

Compassion of Christ

(This is something I heard from my father and am just putting down in my own words.)

Imagine the much told story of Jesus being crucified. What did Jesus thought of the guys who were punishing him? He prayed "Oh Father, forgive them as they know not what they do"! This is the height of compassion, to forgive someone who is killing you cold-blooded, that too using a horrific method like crucifying. But is it really compassion? Just a virtue, that one needs to inculcate? I think its bit more deeper than that. Lets try to see it for ourselves. What sort of person was Jesus? He was a kind saint who has never hurt anyone. All he taught was about loving each other. Can anyone in a sane mind even think of killing such a kind harmless person? What sort of person can plot to crucify this person? Definitely someone who is mentally sick. And once you realise that these guys were sick, would you hate them? Sick man definitely deserves compassion. And that's what Jesus found in his mind. Not that he was trying to inculcate any virtue. Its just that he could see the truth. And after seeing the truth (that those people were sick) even a child will have compassion for them!

Hence, its not important to cultivate virtues. Virtues can not be cultivated, and something that can be cultivated can not be virtue! One just needs an unbiased unprejudiced vision (without cluttered by ego or past). Rest all (virtue or vice) follows of their own accord!

Desire to change!

One of my friends is an ISCKON member and strongly believes in vegetarian food habit. I told him, "I will leave nonveg when it happens. I.e. why should I leave something? A habit or act, if detrimental, should feel disgusting. Then I just can't do it anymore. I need not put effort to leave it."

Thinking again on my logic, I am forced to go a bit deep. Should we force change in our behavior? Will habit, accrued by force, be long lasting? Wont it be better to live and wait for the change to happen, instead of forcing the change?

A thief can say that his act of stealing has a purpose and he will continue it till he feels disgust for it. More horrible practitioners (!) like pedophiles or homicides can also put such a logic!

And, there is a more subtle tinge here. I am not discussing about criminals and laws. I.e. I am not talking about forced changes. I am talking about a man who knows that his behavior might be hurting someone and does realize its impacts. But at the same time he still enjoys his act. Should he try to force a change upon himself? The question becomes still more complicated if I limit my concern to acts which are not universally bad! For example, lets go back to the example of eating meat or moderate drinking. Should I force a change, be a new man?

In the richest continent!

Been in Africa for past month and a half. The more I see of it, the more I learn about it (from people or/and internet), the more I appreciate Indian democracy. Yes there is corruption, nepotism, redtapism etc. But there is a stable democracy which works in India, in a place where it seems highly unlikely to work! There is poverty, but people somehow (as of date) are not drug addicted. There is crime, but still you can walk down a road without the fear of being mugged. There is population, but there is no staggering unemployment rate. Somehow people in India find their way out! Whereas in Africa we have countries, even with stable politics, of 4 million population but with a 40% unemployment rate. It is so counter intuitive! May be its high time to evolve and adopt schemes like Gramya-swarajya (as advocated by Gandhijee and Vinoba Bhabe).

Indian 'Invictus'!

Last night was the cricket match between Indian and Pakisthani teams. Its not that India and Pakisthan are playing against each other for the first time. Nor is it that I am cric-craze! However, one thing struck me when India won the match at 11PM last night. Fire-works were cracked in huge quantity. This is not unusual in cities that I have stayed in India. However, currently I am in the North-eastern city of Guwahati. Not many here have ever watched the Republic day parade in the parade ground! Not many kids here have been able to observe Independence day in their schools. And I have never observed fire-works after an Indian victory in any game what-so-ever.

However, thanks to the communication revolution, and thanks to our media-hype, this match became so much advertised that it became fashionable to follow it! And of course while watching a game, you have to become a fan! So suddenly everyone here became Indian-team fans! So much so that even in the remote city of Itanagar, students painted themselves in tri-color to watch the match. Such was the fever. Now I fully realise the power of game. As depicted in the recent movie Invictus, it does have the power to unite people. And I am delighted to note that, like most other developments in India, our own Invictus was not designed by some leader..... it just emerged!

Jai Hind

Ramayana and solution for agitated-mind!

When I was studying for my class tenth examination, Sanskrit was the language that I chose to study. We were lucky to have a text-book which has chosen many excellent pieces from the rich literary wealth of this ancient language. There was one poem from the great epic Ramayana. In that poem (of more than 15 couplets), Lord Rama was describing the beauty of a pond to his younger brother Laxmana.

For those who are not aware of the story, in it Rama, his wife Sita and his brother Laxmana had left their kingdom to roam in forest for 14 years. This was to fulfill a certain vow his father once made. In the forest a demon kidnaps Sita. After that they have sent animals of the forest to find where is she. And he was waiting for any news of his beloved Sita. During this waiting period came the rainy season...

Rain in India comes mostly because of monsoon. Monsoon rainfall is intensely romantic (you have to get drenched in a monsoon rain to feel the effect!). In such a condition, there was Rama not only alone, but also with no information of his beloved one. My dear friend, this condition of helplessness is utterly maddening. When you get a clue and can give your effort, its still OK (even if you are losing). But the moment of helplessness when you are just waiting for some information, when you cannot do anything... It just drives one mad!

During such a mental condition, Rama took a step which I recently found to be really effective. He went on looking at the mundane (or not) beauty around him displayed by mother nature. Believe me, how much the agitation may be, just try looking at a flower and the dew drop on it, you will feel immediate tranquility!

I feel this was a great remedy suggested in the epic by the godly poet Valmiki. Just try it my friend and you can see how effective it is...

Picnic and Hospitality!

The event I am going to narrate may be a trivial one, but it had a lasting impact on me! Last Sunday we were going on a departmental picnic. Half way to the spot few guys got a call of nature and stopped the bus. Its common here to just release yourself in any wide-open area. So it was no new thing. However, I marked that after those two guys many more followed the trend. I got curious and went out to follow the trend as well. Coming out, I was surprised to mark that there was no sweet wide open space in sight! So I just followed the flow of familiar faces. That took me to a narrow lane with houses on both the sides. I felt a bit scared! Finally I asked one guy where is the wide-open space? He directed me to a house! I felt very awkward. He understood and told me to use the lavatory of one of the houses! I was quite surprised, and to check it myself I ventured in. To my surprise no one told me anything. The house-owner, who was brushing teeth, just tried to smile at me with his mouth full of froth! I released myself and came back. All through I was wandering what type of people these are! Allowing a bunch of stranger to use your lavatory is something which one can never hope to come across in any country. And in the Indian-heartland this issue becomes really impossible because of caste-issues. But here is a corner of my country where people are still open enough to open their lavatories to complete strangers!!
(PS: A complete stranger is one whom you may expect to meet never again in the future!)

Kanhai painki gAi-guhAla

This is a often cited adage by my father, which literally mean "the cow-shade is because of Kanha". The milieu is from the epic Mahabharata. Mother Yasoda wants the baby Krishna to be fed well and hence she is trying to maintain a good cow-shade with well-looked-after cows. But in her earnestness to maintain the cows properly she sometimes forgets to look after the baby Krishna! So this line tries to remind the Mother that all this cows and cow-shade is to serve Krishna!

In life many a times, we get too involved in some trivia, get tensed and worked out. And in this process we tend to forget the reason for which we might be doing the particular work. Thinking of the cause mostly calms us down and gives us new insights!

For example, the man working hard day and night to make enough money for his family many times forgets the cause for which he is working. And he then tends to give the minimum time to his family!

Or, lets say the lover who is trying to fight the society to get his love. Sometimes he gets so involved in the process of fighting for a tomorrow that he forgets to think about his beloved in the present...

A Story: Applied Marketting

(Prologue: Its been my fervent desire to see if we can apply management tricks and skills to create motivation among the hoi poloi. Because I firmly believe that the problem with developing nations is not the lack of resources; its the lack of inspired and motivated populace. The following incident happened to a friend of mine who works in Kolkata. Still I will narrate the story in first person!
PS: Please don't judge. Judging is easy, doing is difficult and this is the first time in my life that I have seen this involvement and ingenuity!)

Howrdah, the main station of Kolkata, is full of people in any given time of the day. Sitting there, waiting for your train, is a torture. But when you need to do it on a regular basis, you start enjoying the menial happenings around you! I had more or less 30 minutes to wait and a young couple was siting beside me. There came a street urchin, barely five, pestering for some help. I ignored him and the girl of the young couple gave him two rupees! Then the guy started explaining to her, why she should not give alms to such urchins and the argument went on. After getting the money from the girl, the kid patted me and showed me his prize! I became a bit playful and asked him to hit me harder, if he can! And he was game. He went on hitting my palm and his tender hands became tired soon and his fist became red. Once tired, he gave up and I asked him to go and wash his hands properly (washing your strained hands in cold water does help a lot). He went and came back with his hands washed. To linger it, I asked him to wash it still cleaner. And with two more iterations, I was satisfied. I gave him a banana and took one for me. We both sat down and ate on the bench. While eating I asked him, who else are there in his family. His father had ran away long ago. He has one elder brother and a younger sister. Both the guys would beg in the platform to get some money for food. (Don't forget that he is merely five! So asking him to work and earn is out of question!!) Then I asked him how much does he make every day? It seemed he would make 20-50 rupees (~$1) a day and on that day he has made merely 7 rupees. I wanted to test one of my management pieces of knowledge. I told him that I will give him 50 rupees in return of his 7 rupees if only he does what I ask of him. He agreed and parted with his 7 rupees. I asked him to go round the platform and ask for money to each person, but only once. Not to pester anyone. If anyone denies then just leave him/her in peace. He went round and came back in 5 minutes with 20 rupees! And then he made a tour of all other platforms and he was with a total of 75 rupees! He was delighted with this new trick. Then i advised him to go to home now and take rest and then play or study! He agreed readily and left the platform with a wide smile...!!

And I was satisfied with two things. I have tested my management knowledge in field and was satisfied that it works even in a train-platform! And seeing this wide smile on the face of a five year old urchin is a satisfaction only known to those who have experienced it!

’tis love

‘’Tis so,’ said the Duchess: ‘and the moral of that is —“Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes the world go round!”’ ---Alice in Wonderland

Today morning I was listening to the great Quwaal Sir Nusrat Fateh-Ali-Khan singing a Mira Bhajan in Lahore! People going ecstatic listening to a song telling about love for Ram and Shyam (two of the major Hindu gods)! Without putting much of a logic, I will just say that its "love" which makes all the bonds, and which "makes the world go round"!!

And its a pity that most of us never ever get the scope or chance to experience true "love". Those who have the luxury to fall in love mostly end up falling in lust and those who don't have the luxury to fall in love keep on dreaming about it.

All religion, all philosophy, all questions, all queries lose their existence lest get dissolved when the tide of "love" comes in heart. And the love for humanity, for nation, for world or for God can only succeed the love for the beloved one!

End note (to all those who are or think are in love): May you face all the oppressions of nature and creation against your love! As Gibran states in The Prophet:
"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. "

Gandhi Jayanti Special(!): Gandhi and Indo-Pak Relationship!

Over the years, I have gathered much respect for the Mahatma. During teens, I also hated the Mahatma and it was a fashion of the times to be a Subhas-Bose fan, which implied a hatred for the Mahatma. Things changed during the period when my mother was suffering from cancer. We were in this small shabby hotel room in Bombay waiting for the next appointment. There was not much to do and I went through a vernacular translation of Mahatma's autobiography. (PS: I still think that the English version of Gandhi's Autobiography is not the right kind to inspire people! My vernacular version inspired an instant awe and drew an immediate intimacy with the Mahatma.) Since those days, I have been a Gandhi fan (though not at the cost of losing Subhas as one of my hero!).

It was just yesterday that I was wondering what would have happened to Indo-Pak relationship, had Gandhi been alive and in power! Few years back I was listening to one of Gandhi's speeches in the immediate aftermath of separation. He could never take the separation as real and was saying: "This will all be over soon. And then we all will go to Lahore. We will have sweets and will all crack crackers!" I was wandering how he would have tackled the Kashmir problem (when the King asked for Indian help to secure his Muslim-dominant kingdom!), or the 1972 war over the formation of Bangladesh (when the Bangladeshis were fed up with Pakisthan's imposition of Urdu and when the Pakisthani General was mercilessly massacring Hindus!), or the recent Kargil conflict.

May be if he were in power, none of these would have happened in the first place. For example, be it Jinnah or Nehru, does it matter who governs the nation? Once someone is in power, he/she behaves in an almost typical pattern. Secondly, if the Kashimiris want a separate nation, in what way is their claim less important than then the claim of Bangladeshis (whom we supported)? I would rather have a good and loving neighbor than a rebel in my own home! And those who talk about national integrity, let me be very clear that "India the nation" means very little to many of the peripheral regions and to most of the tribal regions. After 60 years of independence we don't have a primary school over stretches as long as 60-80 km in North Eastern states; and it still takes an officer almost two days to go to his tribal posting from the nearest town! The central/regional government can never be excused for these lapses.

One thing is for sure. The Mahatma would have continued with his work of "village Swaraj" (real independence of the villages) and "Sarvoday" (rise of all). And may be he would have done it in all the neighboring nations (even if we were divided into 10 smaller nations). Its the cultural heritage that binds (or can bind) us together, not any political boundary or force. And of course, if he were in power we would not have fell into the trap of Lord Mountbatten and would still have had a single nation (at the cost of a delayed independence and may be a different first PM).

We have missed a complete different thought process. We have completely missed an opportunity to be developed. And I don't think we will get a second chance!!

Deja Vu: Insignificant vs. Significant

(PS: Deja Vu blogs are the blogs from a while ago and are not new and fresh!)

In my last few blogs, I have been talking about how insignificantly insignificant is life, creation and all that's here around. Yesterday I came across a wonderful notion. I was reading through an essay by Swami Vivekananda, where he was talking about how creation is created by the merger of Prana (energy) and Akasa (mater); how it comes into being, goes through a cycle and again vanishes, just to reappear again. Even modern astrophysics to some extent supports this view. I.e. the universe was created because of big bang and there are ultimately two possible ends to it, viz. it will expand for ever till it becomes energy less and hence dark; or it may contract again and merge into a black-hole yet again. Its the second possibility which has been supported by Advitik philosophy.

Anyway, my point was something different. Given that its a cycle and given that this world follows a strictly cause-n-effect rule, where is the notion of significant or insignificant? When I breath, I just do it subconsciously without counting and without thinking which breath is better or worse than which other one. Its childish to compare one breath with another. Similarly its childish to put epithets against events. Events are just events. Lives are just lives. Creations and just creations! Neither significant nor insignificant. We are helplessly parts of it. Whatever we are doing, thinking or speaking, has no novelty to it, all these are just events with no adjectives whatsoever.

Art of Communication

Disclaimer: First of all sorry that I have been OFF for such a long period. I mostly write my blogs when there is some sort of pain in the heart or mind. When I am silent, you may presume that I am content :)

Few days back I was talking a very close friend of mine, who mostly is pretty cool even in adverse situations. He suddenly told me about his life's philosophy! This is what I heard! (PS: If you look at the Buddhist scriptures, they have been narrated by Ananda the arch-disciple of Buddha. Ananda never says "Buddha told" this or that! He always says "I heard the Buddha telling...". A simple difference in words but it actually means a lot. The day people realize this, much of the fundamentalism will disappear! E.g. while reading the Holy Quoran, if I always keep in mind that this is what I am reading or understanding from the holy book, then there is no problem! Problem comes when people say "this is what God has decreed"! )

The greatest art of communication lies in controlling the other person and not getting controlled. Try to take him/her in surprise. Act in just the opposite way as what he/she would have expected to react. Lets say someone gives you a really bad abuse, he/she subconsciously is prepared to see you all angry and blasting or tearful. If you don't act like that, you are hurting him/her in a very bad way! He/she is instantly defeated! So the secret lies in seeing through what the other person is expecting and of course if you want him/her to feel defeated! If he/she is your beloved one, there is no point making him/her feel bad. If he/she is abusing you, you react and shout and may be shade tear. But if you are trying to confront the other person, then be ready with the shock therapy! React just the opposite way of the way he/she would expect you to react!!

PPS: This reminds me of the sayings of Krishnamurthy as told to me by my father: "Most people go on reacting all their life and they never actually perform any action! Try to look at the world without any precondition and then you will stop reacting and start acting! Thats the joy of meditation!!".

DejaVu: Empathy!! (Thursday, June 29, 2006)

One of those nice words, that I like in English! "Empathy", word which says so much,.....well at least to me. Putting oneself into another's position. Putting your foot in another's shoe!

I was watching a French movie (name was something RED). European movies are quite nice, a different world from the American movies! Anyway, in it there is this psychopath retired judge, whose neighbours did not like him, and once a while one of the neighbours would throw a stone at his house. Peacefully he was collecting all the stones, ....there were six of them till that day. He was saying to his friend, "I think they must be hating me like anything. I am sure I would have done the same at their place". His friend gets surprised and asks, "you would have thrown stones??". He answered, "Its so natural; given those conditions, anyone would have behaved exactly the same!".

What we call as ourself, our morales, our principles, none of them actually belong to us. We have picked them up in our journey called life. We are bad or good, its as much natural. Philosophers sometime say, its natural to be happy. Its our nature to be "Anand". Then why are we not? Are "WE", different from nature?

If someone is bad its natural, if someone is good, its equally natural. Put yourself in his/her shoes, you can not become anything else! So where is the reason to be happy that I am good or to be sorry that I am bad (or have bad feelings)?