Fear of Missing Out: Abhinibesha

Most people think that the fear of missing out (FoMO) is a result of the new age digitization and social media. But if we go by the phrase itself, it can be defined in a much broader manner. It can also be linked to the indecisiveness we experience when presented with many equally alluring options in life. For example, imagine that as a new graduate you got a job in the nation's defence research wing and another job in a private company making microchips! This is a bifurcation where you have no idea which one is the better choice. Each one will soon bifurcate into very very different lives. Once in, you can not come back and go the other route. You have missed a complete life! That is really tough FoMO! Neither of these lives is worse or better. Both are equally enrichening. And that makes it worse. You know that both routes are equally beautiful BUT different. This is unlike the choice Neo (in the movie Matrix) had. What do you do? You feel scared and stunned. 

Let us take another point of view. Let us try to understand what is fear. Why are we afraid of anything? I think the musing may get easier if we take a really big fear, the fear of death. The fear of death is so symbolic in oriental philosophies and psychology that they have a separate name for it abhinibesha.  Why are we afraid of death? I think this is mostly because of the massive number of unknowns that come after death. No one knows. The life I am so used to ends. And I have no idea what comes next. Absolutely no idea. I do not want to lose my grip on the known. Two main things bother me. Will the things I love so much continue? Will the things I hate come later? Because in real life I am not happy exactly. I still have things/experiences I do not like; and I still have things/experiences I like too much to lose. Researchers have found exactly the same (i.e. unhappiness) as a major cause of social-media-based FoMO (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563213000800).  But most of us are unhappy to different degrees. Hence, we all have FoMO. And the most apparent FoMO is the fear of death! By extrapolation, I hypothesize that those who take jumps in life should have less FoMO and less fear of death. It can be career/continent jumps or literal jumps (as done by adrenalin junkies). 

So how do I get rid of FoMO? Or at least not get bewildered by FoMO? (Of course, here FoMO means all kinds of FoMO starting from missing your friends's Facebook status to missing a whole new job to the fear of death.) I guess the simplest and easiest step might be to ride a roller-coaster! Experience, observe and immerse in the feeling of fear. Maybe force yourself to hop careers and countries. Who knows these experiences may teach us lessons that make us less fearful of changes and less fearful of the unknown and the missed messages!

PS: I am fully aware of the Yogic expounding of the fear of death and how it is linked to the false perception of individual personality and free-will. However, though I know it, I have not "felt" it yet. So for now I will rather keep jumping to deeply understand fear!

(Note on the image: This is the image of the phase space of a chaotic system. It shows how bifurcations lead to never repeating tracks. Once you take one path, your life is completely unique! )