I was talking to an old friend of mine who got recently engaged. He was disturbed. Its because even after his engagement, he felt physical attraction towards other girls! And mind that he is engaged to someone he loves. I have full faith on the love of each of them for the other. And because he loves her a lot, he is disgusted with such feelings and was quite disturbed. This left me ponder...
Why do we put so much importance on physical attraction? Why do we always try to say that sex is not at all important, but in this process make it a "class apart". Sex is just another physical need for us, like food or water. Do we always eat our dinner at home? Does eating in a hotel or at a friend's place puts a question on our love for our mother/wife? Then why the same rule can't be applied in the case of sex? Why should we mix up love/attachment and sex?
Why do we put so much importance on physical attraction? Why do we always try to say that sex is not at all important, but in this process make it a "class apart". Sex is just another physical need for us, like food or water. Do we always eat our dinner at home? Does eating in a hotel or at a friend's place puts a question on our love for our mother/wife? Then why the same rule can't be applied in the case of sex? Why should we mix up love/attachment and sex?
8 comments:
Thinking the reverse case..if we find our wife having a sexual relatioship with anothe man, what would we award her?? Divorce or Death??
Sex is just another physical need for us, like food or water. Do we always eat our dinner at home? Does eating in a hotel or at a friend's place puts a question on our love for our mother/wife?
This is a profound statement to make sir. If this 'clarity of mind' is reached, then not only trivial matters like sex/ prostitution/ rape will be null and void but also similarly exaggerated emotions and social attachments will get an objective outlook.
Comparing sex with food, First thought came to my mind was there is something different ... then it occurred to me that it could be involvement of another person in sex that complicates it and makes it different from eating different food, considering the analogy between food and sex partner and not between sex partner and the one who prepares food.
Also, if we consider sex just another activity. We have different level of involvements in all our activities for example we enjoy more in talking, joking with our friends and not strangers. similarly the level of involvement in activity "sex" is a deeper than in the activity "eating".
Obviously a society where people involve everyone in every activity should be considered much more developed and wiser than ours because then as pandey G said most of our problems will be solved, there will be no foes and friends everyone will just know everyone even that would not matter then. But I doubt that will ever happen.
Biplab, in the discussion I never mentioned about the sex of the person. Hence, it should be allowed for all (even irrespective of orientation!) Else it becomes a pretext of doing adultry. Of course in the context of the blog, adultry has no meaning! Secondly, Indian penal codes treat "adultry" in a very male-chauvinistic way!
Rohit and Suhas: In fact I have not thought of the higher implication of the blog. Nice to know this side also. As a matter of fact, insted of taking it as super-humanistic feat, I was trying to think of this attitude as mere humanistic attitude. I feel the problem comes when we being human-beings, endeavour to become some hypothetical super-human. Regarding talking also, we do enjoy talking to some people more than others. But then we still have independence. You can talk with anyone you feel good with. In sex, we try to put rules! We try to put taboos, we try to drag morality! I think thats where the problem crops in...
Sex is not just a physical need, like hunger or thirst. It has some emotional angle to it also. What is sex without emotion, you can get the right answer from prostitute, perhaps. And in that case sex is not even physical requirement, it is rather an economic need.
But basic question also arises here, is that can a person have sex with multiple people and be morally and emotionally truthful to all?
People usually tend to get very squeamish when it comes to sex, and one of the critical reasons why this happens is because of religion. Religion, by its very nature, prevents people from looking at others as being different in anyway, in not following the doctrine that they have imposed upon themselves.
I fail to understand why people care about the fidelity or lack thereof of other people's relationships. The important thing is for sex to be consensual, and apart from that, there's probably nothing else that should weigh in, unless, of course, other people, such as children, are involved.
More importantly, the nature of so many people on this planet to be privy, obnoxious fundamentalists has forced upon people much more sadness and misery than religion ever has relieved. The belief in invisible sky fairies who don't really exist is why most people oppose gays and lesbians, people who've done nothing wrong except be a little different.
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